Crone Chronicles

Eclectic ramblings of a curious mind

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Words on a Virtual Page: Tristan's Flesh (by Rose on 2008-07-08 10:59)
The Evolving Dad: Software I Use Synergy and Input Director (by MRJ on 2008-07-08 09:24)
The Evolving Dad: Some fun at the Water Park (by MRJ on 2008-07-07 07:30)
The Evolving Dad: Climbing in the park (by MRJ on 2008-07-06 17:53)
The Evolving Dad: The Bedtime Challenge (by MRJ on 2008-07-04 07:30)

29 May, 2008 | BVA | Leave comment - 0 -

What a glorious day to have a day off. I love having weekdays off to do things when places aren't crowded. I started the day at the "Big Guy's" coffee shop. He has a table and a couple of chairs outside for smokers so I was able to sip my coffee while I smoked and did the daily crosswords in the free papers. Later I had brunch with my eldest son and then went shopping at Zellers for some household items.

Naturally when I got back to my place I had to put everything in place and ended up moving some furniture, organizing closets and cupboards and getting rid of quite a number of things that I don't need/use anymore. I really am sticking to the practice of getting rid of something every time I bring in something new. My place is small and I don't want it to look or feel cluttered.

I'm going through a bout of feeling that most of what I do at work, at home and with family and friends is "invisible". By that I mean that while it needs doing, it isn't really noticed unless it isn't done - it's mundane rather than big and flashy. It also feels like the things I do aren't things that society presents as valuable or shows on TV or in movies. When these things are presented they are presented in a negative way - as things that nobody wants to do or likes doing. People who do these things seen as, and presented as, second class citizens who really don't have any "worthwhile" skills - they are also presented as not being very smart because the assumption is that if they were smart they would be doing something else.

It is time to get back to doing Zen meditation regularly - let go of expectations of outcomes.

Retirement????

25 May, 2008 | BVA | Leave comment - 0 -

Although I was not named after Queen Victoria - she was not exactly honoured in the country of my birth - my birthday frequently falls on the Canadian "Victoria Weekend". In the aftermath of this year's birthday I find myself reflecting on how close I am to the "age of retirement". Try as I might, I cannot imagine my life without having a job to go to mainly because I won't be getting enough pension money to do more barely survive. I would be hard pressed to even afford a bachelor at Toronto rates. So I resort to playing ostrich, sticking my head in the sand and not thinking about it.

I will continue to let each day unfold and deal with it. For now, I am looking forward to a couple of weeks of vacation from work. ---

A Year of Major Changes

24 May, 2008 | BVA | Leave comment - 0 -

In May of 07 I moved from my cozy little flat of fourteen years. With the move the rhythm of my daily life changed dramatically. Everything from time spent in transit to work to how I spend time when not on shift has changed.

I have made it through one year of not smoking inside. Even on the coldest winter evenings I made the trip from my sixth floor apartment down to the front of the building to light up. Am I smoking less? Yes, but I am still smoking. It has occurred to me that smoking has become an outdoor activity for me (and I am sure for many others). The downside of this is that walking past "drinking holes" has become a source of tension as one has to make one's way through a haze of smoke from often large groups of rude drinkers out for a smoke between drinks. I must confess that I did not experience that in my former neighbourhood. In this area I have been subjected to threats and verbal abuse on several occasions as I tried to make my way past these places.

While missing my "puzzle" time on the subway going to and from work, I do like the shorter transit time due to not having to transfer - it's now one short streetcar ride and I often get a ride from my son which allows me to leave for work even later.

My Saturday morning ritual of going to the diner on my street for a liesurly breakfast as I did the Star crosswords has been replace with Saturday morning breakfast with a couple of friends who live in this area. All in all, it has been a very full year of adjustments.

Happy Spring

20 Mar, 2008 | BVA | Leave comment - 1 -

For those of you celebrating Easter, Happy Easter. If you aren't "doing Easter", Happy Long Weekend.
Here in Toronto it has been a pretty chilly first day of spring, but the piles of snow are indeed getting smaller and the sun feels warmer. Before we know it all the trees and grass will be green as if overnight.

In some respects it has been a long winter, yet in other ways it feels like it has flown by. It hardly feels like I've been in this apartment almost a year now. It is my first spring here and I will miss the little flower bed with my tall yellow tulips to greet me every morning when I came home from my night shift. They always brought a smile to my face. In this place I have no "little bit of earth" to satisfy my need for gardening.

Life continues to be busy with work and family responsibilities. Busy is good. It makes me feel like I still have something to contribute.

More of the white stuff

09 Mar, 2008 | BVA | Leave comment - 1 -

Good day. Did you remember to set your clocks forward?

At the risk of making everyone groan, I must say I enjoyed the storm from the warmth of my apartment. Fear not, under all that white stuff spring is on its way. We really did need this snow because the water levels in our great lakes have been quite low - I know, I know, it is March and most people have had quite enough of winter for this season.

I got my T4, so I've had income tax worries nagging away at the back of my mind. I have this terrible feeling that this year I will be owing the tax man - not a happy thought. I think I'll put myself out of my misery and file early just to get it over with.

My life continues to be rich in activities leaving very little time for writing.

Dating Services

19 Feb, 2008 | BVA | Leave comment - 1 -

I got a flier in my mailbox today. It was one of those, "Single? We can find your perfect match. Just fill in the enclosed questionnaire and mail it in. Confidentiality guaranteed". It got me thinking about my life as it is "for real" right now.

I came to the conclusion that my life is quite wonderful. It has all the flavours of a bountiful banquet - tart and tame, sweet and savoury, - sometimes comforting, sometimes leaving me craving for more. When all is said and done, I feel privileged to be right where I am in life. Ok! OK! so I avoid mirrors and don't like my picture taken but that is just about physical appearance and a reflection of the values ingrained in me from childhood about what is "attractive". You see it is easier to maintain my belief that your actions, your behaviour and your ethics really tell people who you are when I avoid the whole "fixing" myself up according to the current ideas of beauty.

This time in my life is all the sweeter because I am fully aware that it can all change in a heartbeat. Right now I am healthy enough to work at a job I like, one that pays me enough to meet my financial needs and allows me time with family and friends. I have connections with my adult children, my teenage granddaughter, and my toddler grandson. I have friends of varying ages and I have my own place where I can be in solitude.

To get back to that flier - my life is full. If a "special someone" is meant to come into my life, it will happen without a dating service. If not, I will continue to embrace the life I have.